Yes, today is Trey’s Birthday. Over the past 4 years I must have said, “5/12/08” more than 1,000x (you have to do that in the hospital…a lot). So, this is Trey’s first birthday since he passed away. We have already received tons of emails, texts, messages, letting us know that you all were thinking of, praying for, or here for us and we greatly appreciate it.
We are fine. Do we miss him today? Yes. Did we miss him yesterday? Yes. Do we wish he were here HEALTHY and cancer free? Absolutely. Clearly, that was not to be. What is interesting about today is the pressure. There is a pressure. No, the pressure is not to grieve but to be downright sad. I do not in any way want to take your sadness of the day away from you. You own your emotions and have every right to them. I will speak only for myself though Rachel and I have talked openly about all of this. There is almost an expectation for us to be trudging through this day with tears and a solemness that only someone who has been through what we’ve been through could understand. I, being the ever over analyzer, worries that some will think that because we are not huddled in bed with the drapes drawn that we are in some sort of emotional denial. If you know me, you KNOW them’s fighting words.
I also know that this day is hard for many of you. You aren’t here every day (and that’s a good thing, it would get awkward). You don’t get to be surrounded by his stuff, his pictures, look at his bed, see his toys. All of a sudden, BOOM, “It’s Trey’s birthday!!!” A flood of emotions hit you from worrying about us, perhaps how much you miss Trey, to even thinking of your own losses through the years. We live this every day. It’s just different.
I know that I’m ok. I know that Rachel is ok…hanging in there just fine. We’ve talked to Joe and Bella about today and I’ve checked in with them and they are…ooooookay? Frankly, they don’t know how they feel but think they are ok (they are not always)…for now.
So here’s the deal. If Trey were here, what would we be doing? Celebrating his birth. So, since he’s not here we should replace that with a day full of tears? I’m sorry but we are not going to do that. Trust me, when we come to the anniversary of his death I’m quite sure that the vibe will be very different. No, today is a celebration of his life. There was enough of his life that one day isn’t really enough but I digress.
So, here is an opportunity for you to give him and us a gift. In the comments below, please share your favorite (or one of them) Trey moments. Perhaps it was in person, perhaps you read about it online, perhaps it is just in how I (or Rachel) wrote about it. Whatever. Simply, help us celebrate his life today by remembering great Trey moments (and/or posts about him).
In consideration to non-facebook people and for the sake of consolidation please make your comments and memories on this page just below this post. It would mean a lot to us!