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So Saturday was my birthday.  It was a great day, sleeping in, some family time, a drink at a local pub with a dear friend bartending, and then dinner at the best steak place in Pgh (and many other cities as well).  Just after our waitress brought me my 22 oz. cowboy ribeye she asked me if there was anything else she could do for us.

I replied, “Could you make time stand still?”  However, it became less audible as I finished the line as I got teary eyed…having a “moment.”  You see, in that very instant I thought of getting to have a fantastic meal with the most beautiful woman in the world.  I thought of the generosity of so many people over the past few weeks.  I thought of my mother still being able to watch our kids (she isn’t exactly a spring chicken and yet has the health of and acts like someone 20 years her younger).  I thought of my kids.  Trey perfectly fine and “healthy.”  Joe and Bella not yet having to face what no 11 and 9 year old should ever have to face…ever.  I was, in an instant, overwhelmed at my unintentional “moment” that I had created and/or fallen into.

With that I collected myself and got lost in the 22 oz. of bovine perfection.  Being on my bucket list, simply eating that masterpiece could have set me off into an emotionally unstable state of uncertainty (I do love steak).  It was sooo good but now it was going to be gone in moments (well, not all of it at once but you get it).  Slowly I cut the thinnest of strips away and pressed it against the buttery juices simmering on the 500 degree plate.  I savored every mouth watering bite of medium rare perfection.  I listened carefully to my stomach and heard it say that I was done and thus avoided having the rest of my evening ruined by having forced down any more than was pleasing to my palate at the time.  I have learned to eat with my head, stomach and heart (but that’s another post for another day).

Then, on the way home the Lord “spoke” to me.  Rachel and I were just talking and being amazed that the restaurant was filled despite a crap economy.  We were blown away at the number of people who had brought their kids to this mecca of meat.  Rachel even threw out a “pearls before swine” scriptural reference (well played dear).  Then, I heard a song in the background.  “Carry On” was playing.

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone.
Carry on.
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground.
Carry on.

I laughed.  Yes, God speaks to me through His Word (the bible).  Yes, He speaks to me through those above me in the faith (not in status necessarily but in wisdom and experience).  Yes, He speaks to me through His most Holy of Spirit deep within me.  However, I also believe that He speaks to me through random ways like a song written (or at least performed) by a group of “musicians” who aren’t exactly a spiritual lighthouse or anything I’d ever look to for direction.  It made it more interesting if not accurate(?) that it was just on in the background and nothing I had intentionally played.  I really believe He was just saying, “Ok Jay, I hope you enjoyed your moment.  Happy Birthday.  I love you.  Now, you and I both know what lies ahead.   I have prepared you and have already told you that it will be ok.  Let’s go.  Time to…carry on.”  Granted, that’s a lot but that’s what it felt like.

I shared that with you today as I like to share my “moments” knowing that many of you wonder what it is like to be…well, us.  I also know that you pray for us and want to know how and where we are emotionally.  Thank you on so many levels for being “with” us on this journey.  I’m glad that the line “lost and alone” in the song above, doesn’t apply to me/us.  We all have our stories, we are all experiencing something.  You are all wonderful.  You help time stand still, if but for just a bit.

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