I had a post idea locked and loaded for this morning and it went out the window in a blink of an eye yesterday morning.  Well, not the blink of an eye but rather a quick vision from God.  Yeah, I’ve become THAT guy.  I guess you get that when you go through what we are going through over here.  Anyhow, as always, I will now send out the customary

**warning, emotional post ahead**

for those of you who read this at work or other places you don’t necessarily want to be caught tearing up a bit.  Further, when I get these “visions” I always ask Rachel, “You don’t want to know why I was weeping at church do you?”  She most always replies, “Nope, I’m good…unless you need to share it with me.”  I didn’t and don’t so you don’t either…if that makes sense.

So, it was a normal church service (and that’s a good thing) until the 2nd to last song at the end.  The song Only Jesus is played.  No big deal, good worship stuff, yaddi yaddi yadda.  Then it happened.  The words “I stand amazed” are sung.  I immediately imagine (out of nowhere) Trey standing before Jesus.  He is excited, beyond Disney, beyond Toys R Us (we went there yesterday, trust me he gets excited), beyond any level of excited I have ever seen him.  He is amazed.  At this point I get, believe it or not, happy for him to be (according to doctors, barring a miracle, blah blah blah) getting to experience this at some point.  I see him so happy, so consumed with pure joy.  Excitement and joy not in comparison to the worst he has or will experience with cancer but far and above his best times here.  Boom, tears flow both eyes (my tearing eye is usually just my left but this was not tearing it was crying, crying out loud (praise God for loud worship songs).  Not tears of sadness, almost tears of joy, but pretty much tears of being touched by God on behalf of my boy.

Granted, the very next song “I’ll Fly Away” came on which is a great song but certainly didn’t jive with the mood/moment I was in and I (and Rachel) broke into laughter at the awkward transition.

All in all, it was a sweet but tremendously serious, moment where God cared enough to give me that vision.  Maybe the miracle will come, maybe he will be healed, maybe it was not from God but a cerebral moment of self rationalizing and preventative emotional protection.  Maybe, but I think not.

It’s just too specific, too real, too revelational for me to dismiss.  Many people say that those who have passed are in a better place.  It is said in a way to make us feel just a bit better in horrific times of pain and loss (again, shared tears are much much better than any words).  It never occurred to me how unbelievably excited he could actually be.  if/when this is all over.

Vision over, post over, thanks for being on this journey with us.