I did a post a ways back saying that you could ask me anything.  Some of you asked me some questions.  Most of you (my posts get anywhere from 100 – 600 reads on the day that they are released) did not.  Allow me to ask and answer some of those questions that you DIDN’T ask for you.  Let’s get rid of the negative ones first.

“If you believe in God so much and have so much faith, why hasn’t Trey been healed?” – It  is my faith in and experience with God that enables me to trust that He is in control.  It is my faith in Him that despite what we are facing, I’m/We’re able to get up everyday, we are able to live “normal” lives, we are able to love each other and others.  It is my faith that has taught me that God knows better than I do and if Trey is not healed then we will make it through (and amazing things will probably happen for/to/and or through us.   Pragmatically, my faith certainly hasn’t hurt Trey or us so what’s the difference?

“You really seem, at times, so frank about what is going on?  Aren’t you just in denial?  – No.  We are well aware of Trey’s condition (well, Trey and the kids aren’t fully aware but I digress) and the fact that according to doctors (I never know if I should capitalize “doctor” yet am too lazy to look it up) he is going to die.  We definitely feel the pain of the situation.  We just choose and have been blessed to be able to exist despite (and to a degree TO spite) that fact.

“I am just waiting for one of you to crack under the pressure.” – That is not a question but is something someone  actually said to me.  That being said, keep waiting.  It could happen but my bet is that it won’t.  We are far too honest and real with our emotions for me to see that happening.  That being said, it could.

Now let’s move on to some less negative questions and answer the more “way too personal” (except there aren’t any, we have and will continue to answer any) ones.

“Do you really believe in God as much as you say and believe everything you say about God?” – Yes.  Yes, we do.

“You really don’t get frustrated with and yell at Trey do you?” – Yes.  Yes I do.  Believe me, you would too.

“Are you and Rachel really as close as you portray?” – Yes, yes we are.

“How are Joe and Bella?” – I think…think, that they are handling this just fine.  I’m sure that this has left a mark on their existence/emotions/feelings etc. that will forever be there.  However, we have done everything we can to keep life “normal” for them and have made sure that Trey is not treated any differently than have been treated.

“What’s it like to be in your shoes?” – Well, coming up on four years into this it almost seems normal.  It’s what we do.  It’s our life.  I’m not saying that cancer is the entirety of our life although it’s a big part of it.  The most surreal thing for me, because I allow myself to go there is touching him, watching him, being with him and realizing (if not coming to grips with) the fact that he very well may not continue to be here much longer.

“How is Trey” – We get this more than any other and I can’t answer it enough and I always answer it the same way.  He is fine, but he’s not.  In almost every way he’s a “normal” 6 year old kid.  However he has tumors that are inside of him that according to doctors WILL grow and eventually take his life.  Sooo many people think that he is this poor listless kid just hanging on waiting to die.  THIS IS NOT THE CASE.  He has had a few times where he was hit hard by the treatments and even a couple of times where the disease knocked him back a bit, but those are for the most part few and far between.  He runs, laughs, plays, swims, SINGS, YELLS, and does every activity a six year old does.

“Besides total healing, what do you pray for (full disclosure – someone asked me this in person but I found it to be a great question)? – I do not pray for a certain number of months inasmuch that it just doesn’t make sense to do so.  If I shoot too low would will he die sooner than he would otherwise?  “Other than healing” I don’t really pray for anything for him physically.  Granted there are times when something comes up that I pray for physical issues but in general I spend most of my prayer time praying for wisdom and discernment in knowing what to do as a parent/spouse throughout this process.  I pray a lot for Joe and Bella.  I pray that God will use this to reach certain people.  I pray that God will use this to teach other people how to be open and honest about their lives and needs.  Lastly (I guess) I pray that people will realize that you can’t really control your life, that everyone has a trial that they are going through, and we all need to express love and comfort wherever possible.

So…that’s a few of them.  Feel free to ask away if there are any that I left out.  He is right now taking a test to see if he should skip kindergarten and go straight to first grade.  What’s THAT like you ask (seeing him get ready for a school year that he very well may not make it through)?  Hard…but then again I thought that last year too.