No matter how you look at this title, it is personal.  Well, by definition it most certainly is.  As we go through life we are given a certain number of “aha” moments.  One of mine centered on this topic.    I was meeting with one of the poor souls who was willing to disciple/mentor/counsel me.  He asked me, “Do you love yourself?”  Yes, of course I giggled like a 13 year old boy as he rolled his eyes and said, “Jay, do you love yourself?”  I laughed and talked about how people have said that I’m my number one fan and am always the center of my attention and I try to make anyone else pay attention to me at all costs.  He was good and said, sternly this time, “Jay, do you love yourself?  The bible is very clear and assumes that we do.  It’s at the end of the 2nd commandment, love your neighbor AS yourself.  Jay, I’m not talking about liking yourself, being obsessed with yourself or focusing on yourself.  I am asking you, do you love yourself?”

It just shouldn’t  have been that hard of a question.  Yet it was.  Rereading the second commandment was my “aha” moment.  I had always looked at it as a directive outward toward loving others, which it is.  I don’t know why but I had never realized that loving myself was not even a directive but it was assumed.  Crap, what does that even mean?  Is it some super deep assessment that we will not be able to love others beyond the amount we care for, appreciate, and prioritize ourselves?  Is it knocking down the proud and making sure that we  look at others more and ourselves less?  For me, and I’ll bet many many like me, it was just not that complicated.  Love who you are.  Love you.  God does.  It’s a priority, it’s part of a commandment.

I realized this past fall that I had gotten away from this.  I was not a priority in many ways in my life.  My shoulders hurt, had I done anything about it?  No.  I had let a lot of what I wanted to do creatively get put on the back burner as it wasn’t convenient at the time (no one told me it was inconvenient, I just assumed that it was and slowed down).  I had let some self condemnation creep back into my life and cause me to fear some situations (no where near Trey related…just everyday personal fear type stuff) that I just shouldn’t.  I wasn’t “taking care” of me nearly as well as I was taking care of Rachel or even the kids.  That had to end if I was going to be the man God wants me to be.  Further, as with anything God calls us to do, if God wants it for me it is clearly what is best for me.  So, I focused and began to change things, a lot of things.

I am more than aware that we live in a society which hardly needs to be told to focus on themselves more.  I would argue though that those of you who take time and glean some things from my website are not a good or accurate sample of the greater population as a whole.  I would venture to say that you are much more like me than the “The real housewives Kardashian teenage mom celebrity jersey shore blow hard fashion critic diva entertainer whining zero sum nothing” that permeates so much of our culture.  If you are like me and forgotten to care care of yourself, stop it.  Make sure that you matter.  Make sure that you take care of you.  Make sure that you make yourself a priority.  Love yourself.