I tried to come up with the least potentially disastrous title for this post. Too many other things came to mind that very well have impacted some of you. So, I figure if you know of someone who has been hurt (or worse) from playing Russian Roulette I incredibly apologize. The disclaimer ends there.
Granted, the disclaimer is over but I do have a warning. Do not entertain even thinking about this following exercise if you and your significant other are not doing well together and are not completely secure. If you are really insecure or are going through some issues this may not be for you. If your spouse/significant other is easily put off, don’t do this.
Granted the warning is over but I do have some qualifiers. When I use the terms “spouse”, if you are not married feel free to insert the term boyfriend/girlfriend. When I use the word “lover” I mean to your wife/husband, not anyone else. If you are not married I mean lover as, uh, well, the romantic side of you. If you are not a parent, skip it or insert aunt/uncle if you’d like. Lastly, by “friend” I do mean to others…not your spouse or significant other.
So…here it is. Rachel and I stumbled upon this conversation out of nowhere during our 15 minutes last night. First, rank yourself in these four categories; spouse, parent, friend, lover. Rank yourself best to worst (or best to least best, depending on your self image). THEN, as your spouse shares their own self ranking, begin to discuss how you came up with your rankings. If you then DARE, share your ranking of your spouse.
Now, I have some questions. Did you hear what your spouse said that you were good at or could you only focus on what he/she listed as your 4th ranked role? Did you celebrate what they ranked as your number 1 role? Further, really listen to how each of you came to your rankings both for yourself and each other. It will tell you a lot about what they value, need, appreciate, and even fear.
Please don’t blame me if this goes bad, real bad. I warned you. That being said, we had a blast and laughed at how uncomfortable it made us. Lastly, at times, politicians would have marveled at how we presented our rankings of each other, to each other.
Have a great weekend.