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No, I’m not bringing back Bill Cosby selling Jello pudding.  Rather, I’m talking about MY kids.  It still isn’t what you think though.  You see, I’m not talking about Joe calling Bella “Doorless” after she had lost the privilege of having a door to her room.  No, I’m not talking about Bella saying, when Trey was flipping out while getting his dressing changed, “Well, if Trey dies we can just have another baby that doesn’t cry as much.”  Lastly, I am certainly not talking about Trey saying, “I want 100 presents” for his birthday.

No.  Here’s what I’m saying.  The other day, Joe said…wait for it, “Yeah Dad.”  How about that huh?  Ok, maybe you need a little back story.  The question Joe was answering was from me was, “Hey Joe, are you worried about Trey?”  He replied, “Yeah Dad…I am.”  I replied, “Me too buddy…me too.”  We talked for a minute about the “race” we were in against cancer.  I told him that we would have liked to have won by now but that we were still racing.  He added, “…but we aren’t losing either right?”  Errrr, uh…, well.  Moving on.  Even Bella said the other day, “Remember when they let those balloons go?”  She was referring to the balloons that they let go at the Curesearch walk last summer for kids who have passed on from cancer.  “That scared me and made me really sad.”  Of all people, Trey gets no run here today as his most memorable quote of note is, “Apples in my unders.” when I asked what he had done noticing a huge bulge in his tighty whities.

All of that brings me to a point.  I often refer to conversations that Rachel and I have each night.  We spend at least 15 minutes going over any and everything involved in our lives.  More often than not, or actually just about every night we go over the schedule for the next day.  Beyond that we go over how we have been feeling, what we need from/for each other, and anything else that is the topic of the day.

Much, much, much less often I check in with Joe and Bella just to see what is on their mind.  Almost every thing in their world is right here right now.  As parents we get wrapped up in acting and reacting to the now.  Believe me…that more than fills a day let alone the moment.  HOWEVER…however, I have come to realize that it is essential to check in with Joe and Bella regarding Trey and how they have been feeling.  Granted, this came from a recent stretch where Bella has been more than a bit angry and acting not very nice to her brothers…or mother (to say the least).  Rather than guess if she is angry, scared, feeling guilty or has any number of emotional needs not being met I should plan for/pray for an opportunity to check in with her about Trey.  If Rachel and I meet and talk with each other for 15 minutes each night I can/should certainly send some conversational bait into Bella’s pond and see if she nibbles.  Her words could/very well may say quite a bit.

Allllllll that being said, your weekly notes on Trey.

1.  He is doing just fine.  His treatments (meds on Monday, PT and OT on Tuesday) went very well.

2.  We survived concert week (Joe had practice Monday and a performance Tuesday and Wednesday) with Trey in tow each night (Rachel did M/T, I was on point last night).

3.  We are now in the “get wet playing outside” season so if you need Rachel she will be in the basement doing laundry as the kids are going through 4 outfits a day each (why put on your bathing suit?).

4.  Bella (as mentioned above) is going through a rough patch.

5.  Volleyball is over this evening so my schedule will open up a bit to help with the kids after school and some evenings.

6.  Trey had a rough bedtime Monday, flipping out and crying (which is very very abnormal for him).  On the one hand, he was tired, had a bit of a stuffy nose, and is a 5 year old.   On the other hand, way in the back of my mind I think, “What if…something has changed?  What if…this is the beginning of him being “symptomatic?”  It is never really far from your mind…somewhere up in there.

7.  This is birthday week (Trey’s 5th is this Sunday).  That means cleaning, shopping, excitement, party prep, and wondering “Will this be his last birthday?”  It is never really far from your mind…somewhere up in there.

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