Yes…it is Friday!!!  I said to Rachel last night during our 15 minutes, “So what do we have planned this weekend?”  She replied that there was nothing on the schedule.  While I am no fan of weekends where there are 10 things planned and we stress out going from one to another and watching the kids lose their minds, I am a lessor fan of weekends with nothing on the schedule.  What are the things with which we will fill the weekend?  If we don’t plan some things we will end up just going from 3 hour segment to 3 hour segment telling the kids to do something other than use a screen (t.v., computer, Wii, DS, etc.).  Then, Rachel and I will eventually get them to bed and log onto to facebook (as if we wouldn’t be checking in throughout the day).  We will see how other people spent time with their kids and did all kinds of fun things.  It will be then that I think, “Man, we blow.  Why couldn’t I have put some things like that together?”  We will notice other people, starting now really, talking about their great plans for the big Friday night out!  There will be movies, dancing, happy hours, sporting events, DATE NIGHTS!, vacations, and overnight getaways.  Us?  At least this weekend?  Not so much.

This is nothing new.  College, though fading in the distance, was FILLED with Friday nights where other people had crazy parties and wild times on Friday nights while on a good Friday I was delivering ice cream.  I drove past guys coming back from the gym, people on their way to parties, and lines outside of clubs.  Sigh, not me.  I was just working.  The only people who had it worse than me were the people who lived in the international housing.  All they seemed to do was go to the library.  Yeah, all those “losers” were doing was getting smarter and ahead in class.  Ha.  They didn’t get to make $5/hour delivering turtle sundaes and mozzarella sticks.

High school?  Forget that!  Everyone was having a blast and at best I was playing table tennis or just hanging with my family.  Everyone else had great nights filled with some of the craziest times.  Movies, concerts, parties, and perfect dates were all things OTHER kids did ALL the time.  Not so much for me.  No, I just waited for Friday Night Videos to come on.

Now, the truth be told, maybe EVERYONE isn’t doing ALL the things I mentioned above.  Granted, some have plans for even greater things than I’ve mentioned.  But, the far greater number of people have a lot more in common with me than the superstar families or super crazy college student.  Why then do we feel this way?  Perspective and selective observation.  The first fuels the other.

Now, you may be thinking, “Jay, you crushed Perspective and said that it was way over rated.  Well, true…I did.  However, the fact that it is overrated doesn’t mean that perspective isn’t necessary at all.  What matters is not everyone else’s life but, in fact, your life.  Are you happy?  Do you have meaning in your day?  Are you loving those that God has blessed into your life?  Is there something that you can do to make somebody else feel loved?  Are you just trying to get through your Friday night or trying to make it the best (or at least not too bad) just as it is?  No, perspective doesn’t take pain away, but it can mess with you if you don’t have ANY.  What happens, if you lose perspective, is something called “selective observation”.

Ok, full disclosure, I have no idea if that is the correct term or actually a term at all.  However, what I mean by that is you as an individual looking at the entire rest of “your world” collectively.  You then compare the collective to you as an individual.  No matter what, somebody, somewhere is doing something better than you.  You selectively observe certain people doing things you wish you were doing and apply it to all people.  You also selectively ignore those who are having tough times and/or are doing nothing and don’t count that in your “everyone is having a better time than me” pity party.  It is mathematically disingenuous to compare one static variable (you) to a liquid subset of innumerable objects (others).  Ok, ok, ok, I really have no idea if that statement is valid at all.  I just wanted to say that.   The real truth is, many many more people are doing just what we are doing…or much less.

So, do what you can, keep the pressure off, get through it if you have to, live it up if you can, just don’t think everyone is crushing it and your life stinks.  They’re not all having a blow out and more people are like you…and me, reading this at home…alone.