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The other day I was talking with a friend and I told them that I would be at the Mumford and Sons concert Thursday (today).  I told her, “I’ll be weeping in my seat if you need me.”  Needless to say she was puzzled and politely asked what the crap I was talking about.  Many, if not most, of my posts although about me, my family, and our current challenge are intended to equip you to survive your trials and tribulations.  Many others are strictly educational about emotional/relational needs and relationships to improve your world.  This one, however, is pretty much all about me.  Forgive me and allow me to explain.

I said to my friend, “It seems that any song by Mumford and Sons that is not OVERTLY about a man and his woman (which many of them are) somehow can be applied to my relationship with Trey and this time we are going through.”  So, here is an example of one of those songs.  It is one of my favorites and it is one of the most emotional for me.  The lyrics are in regular font, how it applies to me is in bold.

Not With Haste (click to watch/listen)

Your eyes they tie me down so hard Have you seen Trey’s eyes?
I’ll never learn to put up a guard I will not live in denial.
So keep my love, my candle bright I want to love each minute with him.
Learn me hard, oh learn me right I’m willing to allow this time to be raw and real.

This ain’t no sham
I am what I am  I’m just trying to be open and honest.

Though I may speak some tongue of old
Or even spit out some holy word I quote a lot of scripture.
I have no strength from which to speak
When you sit me down, and see I’m weak My goal is to just stand through these times.
There will be a time in heaven, hopefully far down the road, where the following will take place. 

We will run and scream Most of what Trey does is running and screaming.
You will dance with me  Trey always asks me to hold him and dance.
They’ll fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free We will just be father and son.

And we will be who we are We can just be together and not worry about cancer.
And they’ll heal our scars Trey has many many scars that always remind you of what he’s/we’re going through.
Sadness will be far away Well…

So as we walked through fields of green I imagine again just being with my boy.
Was the fairest sun I’d ever seen  A nice warm sun or The Son Himself.
And I was broke, I was on my knees  I obviously pray for him/us a lot and have broken many times.
And you said yes as I said please God has impressed upon me that we will be ok.

This ain’t no sham
I am what I am
I leave no time
For a cynic’s mind Fortunately we don’t run into too many “cynics.”

Do not let my fickle flesh go to waste  I want all of this to be used for any and all good if possible.
As it keeps my heart and soul in its place  I don’t stray from my heart these days.
And I will love with urgency but not with haste  I’ve grown to love so many through these days.

I will be there with my best friend tonight, he gets me.  He knows about comfort and shared experiences.  The above is only one example of what will be going through my mind at the concert.  Some of you are probably thinking, “Why would you put yourself through this?”  Simply, it’s not good to keep it in.  Hurts pile up inside of you and cause a lot of damage.  Further, God will be comforting me (I’m sure) through my friend (by simply being there with me) and in my heart and knowing Him (God) as I do, through random other ways.

So, if you need me I’ll be there in my seat, weeping.

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