Yes, today is Trey’s Birthday. Over the past 4 years I must have said, “5/12/08” more than 1,000x (you have to do that in the hospital…a lot). So, this is Trey’s first birthday since he passed away. We have already received tons of emails, texts, messages, letting us know that you all were thinking of, praying for, or here for us and we greatly appreciate it.
We are fine. Do we miss him today? Yes. Did we miss him yesterday? Yes. Do we wish he were here HEALTHY and cancer free? Absolutely. Clearly, that was not to be. What is interesting about today is the pressure. There is a pressure. No, the pressure is not to grieve but to be downright sad. I do not in any way want to take your sadness of the day away from you. You own your emotions and have every right to them. I will speak only for myself though Rachel and I have talked openly about all of this. There is almost an expectation for us to be trudging through this day with tears and a solemness that only someone who has been through what we’ve been through could understand. I, being the ever over analyzer, worries that some will think that because we are not huddled in bed with the drapes drawn that we are in some sort of emotional denial. If you know me, you KNOW them’s fighting words.
I also know that this day is hard for many of you. You aren’t here every day (and that’s a good thing, it would get awkward). You don’t get to be surrounded by his stuff, his pictures, look at his bed, see his toys. All of a sudden, BOOM, “It’s Trey’s birthday!!!” A flood of emotions hit you from worrying about us, perhaps how much you miss Trey, to even thinking of your own losses through the years. We live this every day. It’s just different.
I know that I’m ok. I know that Rachel is ok…hanging in there just fine. We’ve talked to Joe and Bella about today and I’ve checked in with them and they are…ooooookay? Frankly, they don’t know how they feel but think they are ok (they are not always)…for now.
So here’s the deal. If Trey were here, what would we be doing? Celebrating his birth. So, since he’s not here we should replace that with a day full of tears? I’m sorry but we are not going to do that. Trust me, when we come to the anniversary of his death I’m quite sure that the vibe will be very different. No, today is a celebration of his life. There was enough of his life that one day isn’t really enough but I digress.
So, here is an opportunity for you to give him and us a gift. In the comments below, please share your favorite (or one of them) Trey moments. Perhaps it was in person, perhaps you read about it online, perhaps it is just in how I (or Rachel) wrote about it. Whatever. Simply, help us celebrate his life today by remembering great Trey moments (and/or posts about him).
In consideration to non-facebook people and for the sake of consolidation please make your comments and memories on this page just below this post. It would mean a lot to us!
I loved reading about what he liked to eat when his appetite was good. I have a son Trey’s age and his tastes are funny just like some of Trey’s were. If I remember correctly he liked to eat frozen waffles still frozen right? We had frozen waffles this morning to celebrate Trey…and while we cooked them, my kids and I shared one frozen one too.
Ah my favorite Trey moment. There are so many. Trey calling Alexa his girlfriend and how they would hold hands after preschool and hug. I hung out in Trey & Alexa’s preschool class for their Christmas party. We played games and all of a sudden Trey kissed my arm! So sweet! At Alexa’s birthday party this past year he gave me the biggest hug! Alexa & I will cherish these memories forever. Happy birthday Trey!
I love that Trey always looked happy and loved to be silly. Just by looking at his pictures you can’t help but to smile. And my favorite Trey moment involves the “butter dance”. Happy Birthday Sweet Trey!
I’ve never met Trey, although I feel that I’ve had a pretty great glimps at his life through your blog. Thank you for all that you’ve shared. So, when my kids eat a frozen waffle, still frozen, I sometimes think of Trey. I can’t understand why a kid would want to eat that- so gross! God bless you all!
Katie Lascola
I loved that little boy! Not sure why, but the first memory that came to mind was the one time I babysat and Taggy had become lost. We looked everywhere but he was not turning up. It was time for bed and there was no Taggy. Bella volunteered to let Trey borrow her Taggy. Sweet of her, but Trey thought that was downright ridiculous! We kept looking and eventually found him… Can’t remember where. I think of Trey at least twice everyday – at naptime and bedtime here when I hand Andrew his Taggy.
Where to begin? Trey was just a sweet, funny, silly little boy. In our Sunday School class he was a joy! Trey always was kind to others and he knew and Loved Jesus! He really liked when Wiskers (puppet) came to visit his joy and silliness was such a joy to us his laughter shines Still! Happy Birthday Trey!
Favorite memory is tough…but I would have to say that my favorite memories were takinig Joe and or Bella over to peek in on him in the Nursery. The ever present taggie in his grasp. What a sweet face and life so full! I think we should all do the butter dance and eat frozen waffles today!
Favorite memory – actually two – taking care of him on Wednesday nights in the nursery at Riverside – such a big boy to carry around! Second memory – seeing him sitting along the parade route with you & the rest of your family during the Memorial Day parades.
I had never met Trey, or your family, but I loved following your stories. You guys have remarkable strength and eternal love for each other. You and Rachael are true inspirations to us all. Since I didn’t personally know any of you, all I can say is that Trey always looked so happy in his pictures. He was a true warrior, and never in my life will I ever forget any of you. You have left an indelible mark on me. God Bless you all and thanks for letting us follow you on your journey!
Working in the nursery at rolling hills and you would tell Trey I’ll be….and he would say right back. He would come in a little tearful but be reassured that you would be “right back.” It’s my first memory of him and he was so sweet.
Oh, that’s an easy one. Trey must have just learned how to jump into the pool. Rachel coaxed him to show me, because he was a little shy around me. He jumped for me that one time and then kept going and going, now insisting I watch. Over and over. The mighty water warrior.
My favorite moments are the sprinkled covered face from the donut in Disney. I also think about Trey every time I make my kids breakfast because they request frozen waffles constantly!
I only got to meet Trey once. I came over your house to hang out with Rachel and Trey with my 3 month old baby and an almost 3 year old powerhouse of my own. I confess to being very nervous about whether or not Luca was going to be on good behavior. Luca and Trey got along wonderfully (and even allowed Rachel and me time to chat!). I remember right about when it was time to go, Trey dove under your Christmas tree and was coaxing Luca under there too- there was just so much joy! it lit up the room. The two boys were sad to have to part, but it was really nice for them to get together.
I remember a video you posted of Trey rolling down the hill in your yard. When he got to the bottom, he stopped and you asked if he was okay. He said “ouch” or “it hurt” and then you asked what he was going to do next, and he said “roll back up.” I try and remember that when things seem to be going downhill…just decide to roll back up hill! I plan to have a big dish of ice cream, with sprinkles, tonight in celebration of Trey’s life and his sweet, beautiful, funny soul. I am glad I got to know him even a little and even if only remotely.
I will remember VBS and Trey singing Paul and Silas song and our Cornucopia at Thanksgiving time at Sunday School!! And now part of Trey lives on at school and church! Little ones playing with the same games that Trey had!!
Kelly Hamilton
I remember meeting Trey! Jay brought him in to the gym in Verona when Rachel was finishing a workout. He must have been about 10 months old at the time, with very delicious pudgy thighs. He was so delighted to see his mama.
my favorite Trey moments will always be when I would call and he would say “Hi Diz! love you!” brief and to the point, moving on to his favorite show or opening the fridge for something. celebrating with you guys today.
There was a video of him singing. You posted it one night when he was tired I believe. If I can find it again I’ll comment. I don’t think you could see him, but you could hear him if I remember correctly. Obviously his energy both from when we got to play with the kids at his fundraiser at the pool and what I’ve read through all of you. Rachel, Cathy, you, Christina and so many others did an amazing job of making Trey a presence in our day to day. Happy Birthday Trey! ☺️
Before this school year, I knew of Trey and the Mitlo family, seeing them around the community and such. I was taken aback when I found him in my kindergarten recess class. I really felt sorry for him, that was until I got to know him. He just wanted to be a normal kindergarten kid playing at recess. He didn’t want his overprotective mother watching over him. I remember her being there one day when he wasn’t doing so great, he fell down and jumped back up yelling, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” What a great kid he was, always with a smile on his face. He should be happy, because he was loved by many more than even with his great imagination could have imagined. God bless you Trey and your beautiful family.
This is from two members of our church…
My most profound memory of Trey is when in church, (one of his last
Sundays) Rachel was holding him and Trey was singing and had his little
arms raised in worship. It is etched in my memory.
Chuck Ott
Even though we did not walk through your journey, and having known
you all for only 6 months when Trey went to be with Jesus, it is so
clear to me and I stand in awe that the faithfulness of God has made it
possible for you to be so open and honest concerning your trials and
triumphs. No one can deny It has been have been clearly orchestrated by
the Holy Spirit. How else could you all possibly come through it as you
are. In church as I watched Trey it was difficult to know whether he
was having a good day or a difficult one. He was amazing to watch. He
loved being with the kids, but was never far from Rachel. His life
story was and is resounding throughout the world without him even
knowing it. His legacy will live on for generations. It is an honor to
have met him even for a short length of time, and it is an honor to know
the Mitlo family.
Bernice Ott