I stood there on the beach, looking at Joe, Bella, and Rachel. It was last year and our first vacation as a family after Trey had passed. Joe was right next to Rachel, then a space, and then Bella. It was a very subtle reminder that something (someone) was missing. It was a wonderfully healing time for us with lots of memories of our previous vacations as a family of 5…not 4.
Fast forward to just a week ago. There we were back on the island of Ocracoke again. We were at the same spot, same beach as last year and once again I thought of Trey. I even took a moment and asked Rachel if being there caused her to think of Trey in a sweet yet somber way and she replied, “Yeah, but that’s always.” Good point.
This year was different though. It was more reminiscing and less mourning. True, there was a longing to be with him but an appreciation for all things we had with him. As the first few days passed I noticed a growingly overwhelming feeling within me. I was hit with a surge of gratitude.
I’d like to tell you exactly what it was. I do always get nostalgic and introspective at the ocean. It was the 4th of July and (a day after) Rachel’s birthday. It was all of that and also none of it.
I looked around and couldn’t believe that I was there, that this was my life. Who was I to get to live on this earth? I wouldn’t want to live in any other country in the world. How was I getting to play and relax in this massive ocean built by the very hands of God? I looked at our friends and thought of how blessed I was to be there at that time with them. That took me to thinking of so many others, many of you. Joe, Bella and I (while bouncing around in and over the waves) mentioned many of you that we wished would have been there with us. I was impacted by the many relationships I have with so many people. The relationships differ as much as the people within them. How could I be someone who gets to know so many great and diverse people? I really wish I could list all of the people I thought of and gave thanks for but that would take far too long. More than a couple of you would be shocked that God put you on my heart.
I then thought about Faith Community Church. After bouncing around in the vocational and ministerial wilderness, how gracious of God to present me with the ideal situation! So many wonderful and Godly people of, again, such diverse and interesting backgrounds. My family has been loved and cared for beyond any reasonable hope or expectation. I have been blessed with such a valuable tool to spread the same love that God first gave me. I get to see the impact that God’s direction has had on those who are part of our community. Our community…
I thought about Penn Hills, my hometown, my home, my school, my passion (well, that and God, family, ministry but you get what I mean). I thought of all of the great people and places associated with Penn Hills. I thought of the people who have had such an impact on me directly or the community as a whole. Who was I to get to be raised, live, and now raise my family in such a place? My family…
I stood there and looked at Rachel. I was overwhelmed at what an amazing woman I was so fortunate to find and marry. She is such a great friend, great wife, and unbelievable mother. Joe and Bella. Come on. For those two to have been through the loss of a brother and still be the greatest kids in the world is mind boggling. Trey. Sure, he was gone but when he was here how powerful and impactful was he? What a blessing he was and is to me. How did I get to be their dad? Then, there is the rest of my extended family. I am so proud of all of them for everything and yet simply for just being (as my mother puts it) nice. I am forever blessed by hearing stories of my parents/siblings and how much they mean to others.
So I stood there on the beach, overwhelmed with gratitude. It was a beautiful time to take stock of my life and thank God for every bit of it. I was humbled at His provision for me. I was grateful for His love for me. I was, and am, committed to doing my best to bless others as I have been blessed by Him.