Dreams. You can achieve your dreams if you simply don’t give up. Go to Disney World and your dreams will come true (as long as you wish on a star and believe strongly enough). You will also go broke and want to kill other parents but I digress. Dreams. I mean, the kind that happen at night. There is an entire industry related to the interpreting and analyzing of them. There are scientists who study them in relation to sleep patterns and behavior. I, myself am an amateur dreamologist as I have told my kids that when they have nightmares it’s because their body realizes it needs to pee and the mind is in charge of waking them. Thus, the nightmare. I don’t know if it’s true but it sure gets them to go to the bathroom before bed. Further, it keeps them from obsessing over the fear of a recurrence of said nightmare as once they have relieved themselves there is no need for their mind to wake them up (works most of the time if I do say so myself).
When I am stressed or have a lot going on, life creeps into my dreams. Is there anything worse than being stressed about work and then dreaming about it only to wake up and have to go to work all over again? Maddening. I learned to write everything down that was heavy on my mind, pray, give God control, and go to sleep. That always did the trick for the most part.
Now, something different is happening. Most every night, I have low level “bad” dreams. No, nothing is particularly horrifying in my dreams. There is no boogy man or even fear or chase scenes. I’m not being thrown into jail or watching something horrible happen to someone I love. Simply, I have uncomfortable dreams where nothing goes right. My son has cancer, it (according to the Doctors) cannot be healed. So, I dream of…missing flights? Being late for class in college? Being lost? Trey is never in my dreams. Death is never a subject. You would it think it would be, it’s not. Maybe Rachel and I do a good job of truly processing our hurts and grieving and comforting one another over the hurts that we know and have. Thus, the dreams are there due to the hurts we haven’t experienced yet? Who knows?
What bothers me the most if not makes me downright angry is that I don’t ever…EVER have good dreams anymore. You know, when you wake up and ask, “Did that really happen?”. You then realize that it in fact was just a dream and a mild disappointment washes over you. Nope, never have them any more. Every night, something random and relatively meaningless goes wrong. It gets old, it bothers me, it lessens my “rest”. I wish upon a star not that my dreams would not come true, in fact quite the opposite…and simply that I wouldn’t have them at all.