With all due respect to the Pirates finally clinching a winning season this post is not about baseball. Whereas you must take care of the basics and make sure your bases are all covered in baseball the similarities end there. During this week of apparent focus on “The basics” I came upon another one.
Self promotion alert!!! On Friday morning I will be on the WDVE morning show at 9:30 a.m. They are broadcasting from The Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh for the annual Radio a Thon to raise money for CHP. We were approached with the opportunity to be interviewed and I begrudgingly (read: immediately and eagerly) obliged. As I went over some things that I wanted to share with them I thought of what I wanted to share with you today.
I’ve said it many many times, we all have stories. While pediatric cancer has greatly (to say the least) affected my family and me I have grown burdened by ALL hurting people. Whether it be people in crisis or those who are long suffering I know that your story is yours and it really matters to at least you. I encourage you, when you come to that moment when you realize, “Oh man, ish just got real.” that you quickly begin to cover your bases.
Shortly, very shortly, after Trey was diagnosed I came up with a plan on how we were going to attack/survive as a family. Rachel would make sure that Trey was properly taken care of and take the lead in his care (believe me, she was going to anyhow). This included being the one who spent most of the nights in the hospital, writing down EVERYTHING that happened and was said, answering the phone when the doctor called, etc.
My job was to make sure that Rachel was ok. The first part of that was to ensure that Joe and Bella were ok. I did this by making sure that they: 1. Had their basic needs met (food/water/shelter). They had many a meal at grandma’s and their aunts and uncles stepped up in a huge way. 2. Had as much of a sense of “normalcy” as possible in their life. We got Joe into Jiu Jitsu and Bella into dance. They had their things. We asked folks to send them mail so that they got some attention each day from the “outside world” as Trey most certainly was dominating this house. 3. Were brought along in and with the disease and our battle against it. I told them that we were in a race against a very serious disease and that we might win…but that we could lose. We talked about who (God, doctors, family, many, many others) were on our side in this race. We always (to this day) talk in terms of this race. We utilized many of the services that CHP has to help siblings of cancer patients deal with this horrific time.
The second part was all about Rachel. I confidentially mobilized the women of Rachel’s world to pray for and care for Rachel with whatever she needed from prayer to books/gifts/encouraging words. I made sure to always be there for “important” doctor conversations and scans. I made sure that she ate, slept, and had nights off from the hospital. No matter what, we always talked and looked out for each other and made sure we were doing all that we could for each other.
My other job was to make sure that I had some guys who had my back. I had to have some men there who I knew that I could trust and count on. They have been instrumental in making sure that I was ok and at the very least could vent/emote/hell…cry. That list has continued to grow.
Together, Rachel and I decided that we were going to be open/honest/and vulnerable throughout this time and reach out to others. Thus, we started the facebook group “Pray (and more) for Trey.” We took (and take) turns keeping the ever growing number of the people in that group up to date and informed of all that was/is happening. We had a great network of people in our world before any of this ever happened which made it a lot easier to grow once we began. It has been as instrumental as anything else we have done. The giftedness with which people have loved and served us through the years has been amazing and a testimony to how God uses many parts to make up one very loving body.
So far…real good. This system is still in place today. The details and needs have changed, the numbers of those who help/pray for us has grown, but the system/plan remains. I encourage you all to take a look at your life and see if you have a plan (not OUR plan mind you…whereas we all face something, we don’t all face the same thing and don’t all have the same resources) for attacking/standing/surviving the things that come your way. We all have stories. We all face difficult times. We all face (or will) tragic and sudden chapters in our lives. Have you covered your bases? I hope and pray that you do. Thank you for being a part in helping us face ours.