Circles. Clockwise circles. We got home from the pool and Trey (my 4 year old who has cancer) asked me to scratch his back when I put him down for a nap. So I did. I laid there beside him and scratched his warm tan back. Every once in awhile he would look back to make sure I was still there. I was.
It was one of those “moments”. I wondered how many more of these days I would get. The doctors are surprised (or at least seem to be) that he is not “symptomatic” yet. I say “symptomatic” because Rachel and I aren’t really sure what to even look for. Beyond that, the boy has had a broken femur, dangerously low red blood cell counts, and a collapsed lung and showed nothing. So, I scratched his back and appreciated the moment.
I thought about how just inches away was a tumor wrapped around his aorta and three major arteries. Most likely it is that one that will take his life. I thought about how unbelievably healthy he has been. Even when he has gotten a cold it’s almost like he forgot for a second (to expel the germ) and kicked the crap out of it by the next day. He is a walking talking anomaly if not miracle. I felt the soft texture of his skin and thought about what lays ahead for this gentle Young Warrior.
I preached recently on how God cares for the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. It says how much more God cares for us. But, I have often asked/pondered and now come to realize, those things die. Yes, those things do die…in their season. So do we. I thought about that to.
I thought, as I gently scratched, when would this all begin to happen. Granted, maybe it won’t. God is able, we are faithful. But if it does…when? How? What will it look like? Yes, I do trust Him. I still wonder when though.
I then realized as I was scratching his back that I was making circles…CLOCKWISE circles. Time is running out. It hits me every year at New Years when we count down from 10. Man, time is undefeated. You can’t even pause it. It simply just trucks on. It hit me again today. Yes, tomorrow has enough troubles of it’s own. We do have today. Today, I loved making circles, even clockwise circles.