I have found myself doing some things lately that have impacted me greatly.  It started one day at the pool.  Trey and I were playing (by playing I mean “Trey jumps in as I catch him and get water deep in my ears and his feet deep in my solar plexis”) and we stopped for a bit.  He was a bit cold so I pulled him in close to my chest as I carried him.  He put his head down on my shoulder.  We hugged, softly.  I moved around the pool and he simply let me hold him there.

Another time it was late in the afternoon.  Trey had gone non stop from the morning and was in a momentary lull.  I picked him up and turned my back so he could still see the t.v.  Within a minute he had put his head down on my shoulder.  He did not fall asleep but his breathing became rhythmic.  I swayed back and forth almost as if he was a new born.  He let me.

This has happened a few other times (perhaps not to the extent of his laying his head on my shoulder) where I caught him in a still moment.  I flash forward in my mind if not for a just a quick moment.  There will be a time, perhaps and  hopefully still far off, where I will give anything to be able to do this.  I WILL do this now…and I do.

Death steals so much from so many.  I for one, am stealing my hugs back.