“What are we going to do today?” Bella asks…ALL THE TIME!!! Even when we are about to do something awesome she asks what will we be doing afterwards. She’s so precious (yes, dripping with sarcasm and passive aggressiveness). Yet, why does it drive me so nutso? Perhaps, one of the main reasons is that it so closely mirrors how I so often look at life.
For years I have struggled with not living the life of “The Next Big Thing” production. I would be in the middle of some project and just think, “…once I get through this” and just try to survive. Inevitably the next major event would come and I would be left constantly hoping for the future. After awhile it occurred to me that one day I would be on my death bed wondering where my life went. I was slowly yet consistently wishing my life away.
In similar fashion, I do that in a positive way. Instead of trying to get through something tough I long for something exciting, fun, or desirable. “How long until I get to (insert fun thing here)?” Our culture does this on a weekly basis. The weekend is the Holy Grail of the week and really all that is to be lived for. We have even named Wednesday as “Hump Day” as it measured the halfway point to the end of the week. The next party, the next date night, the next day off, the next vacation, the next whatever is what I and most others wait upon.
Sadly, the result is the same. You spend more of your life waiting and wanting than living. Whether you are trying to get through a tough time or waiting on a great time the bulk of your life is spent not in the moment. However, if you try to make the most of each day…for yourself, you will quickly find yourself disappointed on a regular if not daily basis. Apparently not everyone is on board with the, “Yay all things me” campaign.
So, the solution is thus. Before each day, each event, each meeting, each any and everything ask yourself a series of questions. “Who is going to be there? Who needs me? What can I do for whoever I encounter? What can I give them? What do they need? How can I love them?” All of these translate and are applicable to any and every situation.
Live to love. Make the focus of your life loving others. Some of you are reading this and thinking of how you have lost yourself by focusing too much on others. If you haven’t taken care of yourself I don’t know how effectively you can love others. Jesus said that we are to love others as we love…ourselves. In our hyper idealistic competitive selfless martyr Christian culture it is almost chic to burn out in the attempt, appearance of, or even practice of servanthood. Perhaps I’m splitting hairs but in those cases the focus isn’t on loving but the emotional needs you’re getting by serving (attention, security, acceptance, etc.).
Others of you are remembering hurts inflicted upon you when you have loved but it has not reciprocated. Worse yet, there are times you have loved and been attacked in return. Allow me to tell you this, there are few things more Godly than to experience unappreciated, non reciprocated love. The problem lies in our motivation and source of strength. Is your motivation to get the response or to love? Is your strength your own or from God?
Live to love. Assuming that you are ok, live to love others. Ask God the questions I listed above and then go with Him and love those that He puts in your path. I can’t think of a better way to spend my days than making people feel loved with the God of all creation.