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What is a perfect example of irony?  How about me sitting down to write a post on clear communication and getting bogged down in being too wordy?  Now, here goes take 2.

One thing that is essential to all relationships is open/honest and vulnerable communication.  Taken a step further, what is missing from our society (and relationships as well) is clear communication.  Allow me to explain in concise (insert chuckle here) fashion.

If you love someone or if there is someone in your life that is really significant, have you told them?

If you appreciate or respect something someone has said or done do they know?

If you think highly enough of someone to want to get to know them better have you communicated this to them?

If you feel like you have offended someone have you apologized?

If you have forgiven someone in your heart have you told them to their face?

If you have a problem with someone have you expressed clearly how you were hurt by what they did or said?

Ladies and gentlemen, the devil lies in the vague murky mire of the unspoken word.

In the cases listed above, where your communication is positive I would bet that the recipient has a lower self worth than you would think.  Thus, they would be surprised to know how you feel or at the very least be very blessed by it.  Even then, they very well may inwardly dismiss it to some extent by lying to themselves and saying, “oh, if they really knew me.”

In the cases where there is or has been conflict, most people will always assume the worst.  The only true, albeit difficult at times, solution is to be clear and direct (not bullish and rude mind you).  “I don’t want to make a big deal out of it” you say.  Why don’t you just say, “I’m a coward, I don’t want to face my fault in the matter, I hope it goes away.” instead?

Be responsible if not careful.  Especially on the conflict side of things there is room for passive aggressive and poor manipulative communication.  “I want you to know that I forgive you for acting like such a jerk these past few months.”  as an example.  However, rather than truly forgiving someone you are actually poorly expressing a hurt.  Don’t do that.

So, let’s communicate.  Let’s be clear, intentional, open, honest, and vulnerable.  Let someone know that you truly love them, or like them, or think that they are gifted at x,y, and/or z.  Trust me, they will be at least be blessed and perhaps shocked.  Let someone know that you have been hurt and begin the healing process.  Let someone know that you have forgiven them and set them (and your own heart as well) free.  Be clear, be concise, and leave the questions and doubts behind. 

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