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I heard a very astute observation recently. They said that you should never announce that you are going to embark on a weight loss journey. Further, you shouldn’t post a “before” picture when you are starting. The reason for both is that you immediately get some of what you are looking to achieve at the END of your journey. When you make those declarations and post those pictures, people IMMEDIATELY encourage you, tell you that you can do it, and/or tell you that you’re fine the way you are. You receive a sense of gratification and love…a dopamine hit if you will. This counteracts whatever it was that led you to want to make those changes. Thus, you have removed a lot of that which would have propelled you towards your goal and instead, set up a greater chance at failure.

So, against this solid if not controversial advice, I have exciting news to share with you all. No, I am not starting a body transformation journey with Strong Sisters United though I highly encourage you to check that out. Rather, my almost 3 year project is picking up steam. Wait, if I’m almost 3 years in perhaps I HAVE followed the above advice. As it is, I have been writing a book about our experience during the Trey days and applying it as a tool for anyone who has a child with a life threatening diagnosis. It’s similar to the books “What to expect when you’re expecting” or “What to expect in your first year” but with a much different and dire focus. Each chapter takes the reader through our journey with a different focus that we experienced, preparing the reader for what they to might have to go through as well. The reader will see how we handled each phase of our journey yet be prepared to make their own decisions as to how to face theirs.

To be fair, if you would have handed me a book like this when Trey was diagnosed I can guarantee you I wouldn’t have read it. However, I promise you that just about every member of my family and most of my friends would have read it. I have written the book with those people in mind. When Trey had his failed surgery I reached out to the Center for Relational Care in Texas where I was trained. I asked them for any help, advice, or guidance in how to prepare Joe and Bella for what was most likely to happen to their brother. When the person I asked brought it up in the staff meeting (protecting my confidence and identity) someone replied, “There was a guy we trained a few years back from around that area that might be able to help him.” The person I asked replied, “He’s intimately aware of the situation.” In essence, they referred me to…me. When I asked if there was anyone they knew of that had walked the path I was about to walk, who had been trained in what they had trained me, they said that they were not aware of any. I realized then that this was a need that had to be met.

Me being me, I worked on other projects and, to a degree, doubted myself. For whatever reason, in 2021 I started writing. 14 chapters and 25,000 words later I had what looked like a book. I spoke with different authors and posted about it in general from time to time but never really took any next steps. That is, until late last week. One of the authors I spoke to referred me to a Christian book editing, design, and marketing company. I reached out to them and we set up an online meeting. If you know me you know that me taking an online meeting shows that I mean business (I hate online zoom type stuff like that). The meeting went amazing. When I gave her my “elevator” or “one page” pitch I watched her eyes light up. She immediately started talking about how unique and yet necessary this book was. Even when I confessed to her that I was not what you would call an active “reader” she replied, “Right, and people like you need people like you to write books that they will actually read.” She seemed to really understand me. They currently are preparing a proposal for me to hire them to edit and and design the book. To do my due diligence I have also contacted another similar company so that I have something with which to compare their offer.

I write all of this for a couple of reasons. One is to hold myself accountable to seeing this through. I still have doubts in my mind and a small fear that I won’t follow through. The second is that you will be in prayer with and for me. It breaks my heart at the number of families who are going through this who do not have the resources that we were blessed with during our time. I want to handle this with wisdom, discernment, and clarity so as to bless as many people as possible. Lastly, I want you to know about it so that when the time comes you’ll be a part of this process moving forward. I can’t, won’t, and shouldn’t do this alone just like we didn’t do it alone during the Trey days. God used you to carry us through those amazing times.

I love and appreciate you all. I look forward to keeping you updated as God continues to lead us towards His will.

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