Just a quick note this Friday late morning. Rachel and I have a great opportunity tonight due to the generosity and availability from one Danielle Barron. She is a former volleyball player and current girlfriend of Trey who is babysitting for us this evening. Oh, it’s nothing special that we are doing. No event, no short flight to Boston and surprise tickets to the Penguin game. No gift card from someone who loves us so much to go to Morton’s Steakhouse…or Ruth’s Chris (feel free to be THAT person). No tickets to the theater or symphony (we’re good on those). Nope, we are going somewhere quiet, hanging out, talking, maybe spending a few dollars on a juke box, people watching (always people watching), laughing at which of us gets hit on first by someone 10 years older than us, and being together.
You see, I have posted before how important it is that Rachel and I (and every couple) spend 15 minutes a day just talking. We may talk about something as significant as what is most likely headed our way with Trey, or something as inane as reality to t.v. (no offense). Most often it is covering details of the day that we have just completed and the day that lies ahead. Just as important as spending time talking each day is going on dates.
A few essential notes on “date night”. You see, many of you just thought, “we go on dates all the time.” Allow me to clarify what I (and the folks at the The Center for Relational Care who taught us) mean by “date night.”
1. It is just you and your spouse/partner. No other couples, friends etc.
2. It is not going to a party, double date etc. At these times out you are going together but you are not there together. These (and all other events listed) are great but not what we’re talking about here.
3. No shopping or tasks being completed of any kind. Although things have to get done they are not to be undertaken on date night.
4. Ideally not staying in and having date night at home. Believe me, not having a babysitter makes this one impossible but it just isn’t what’s best. There are way too many variables that can/will derail you of the objective in mind. Chores, projects, CHILDREN, television, are all way too prevalent to be shut out completely. Is is better than nothing? Yes. Is it ideal? No.
5. Not officially not “date night” but I prefer to stay away from movies and concerts as large amounts of time are spent there with but not THERE with your significant other in these circumstances. I prefer quieter times facing one another and talking/being romantic…to whatever degree.
It is simply paying attention to the couple that you are. If you are married you are a new creation that needs to be nurtured. That’s what we are doing this evening. We are having a date night. I am as excited as I could be to be alone with my bride. I am super excited for her that she gets to be with me (humbly speaking of course). I am already sad that she won’t believe me when I tell her that I will be with the best looking woman there…wherever we go.
So, hopefully you can get to go on a date night soon. Hopefully your date nights fit in to the specifications I’ve listed above. It is essential to a healthy relationship.