- So for the first time ever (I believe) my latest post resulted in zero comments. None on the website, none on social media, zip, nada, ninguno, nadia. For a moment I thought that it was just a crapper of a post but then I realized something. I kind of really crushed anyone’s hope of commenting. There are only a few of you brothers and sisters in grief who have walked the exact same path Rachel and I are walking and you all know that each grief journey is unique. Further, to double down and add in the “…anything can happen line” renders you, the reader, to slowly back away from the computer. As I checked the numbers it did show that the visits to the site were average to above average. I suppose I just about mastered the uncommentable post on that one.
- I used to be the “Comment Killer” as one who commented on websites/status updates. I would comment either honestly or to be funny (sometimes both) and boom! Nothing. It was if I had said something in the room and everyone just left the room, staring at me. I miss those days. So much so that I recreated that on my own page last week.
- Bella said after I talked about Jesus being deserted by the disciples in the garden (from His perspective), “Guh, and to think, I ATE with these people.” Yes, dear, he was quite offended and put off in those moments…lol.
- I created the term “positive tattling” with my kids and challenged them to look for ways that the other had done something good. They understood, got it, and have not found one yet. It’s only been a couple of days though.
- I had a check up today. First doctor visit for me since 1999. All measureables were fine (including blood pressure).
- I had to wear a gown….for a check up? You like to push on my stomach through a gown and not my shirt? Ok…freak. That’s no way to “build a practice” there newbie (I had to see a newer doctor as it had been so long since I had gone I was no longer on record as being a patient…my bad).
- I did qualify for a sleep study as Rachel and I are convinced that I have sleep apnea, which would explain a LOT of things that aren’t ideal about me.
- I was hesitant about the idea of a cpap (or whatever) machine but I was basing that on my dad’s original gas powered, pull string, full on hot rod sounding, leather face, archaic one. My bro in law just showed me his ultra silent brand new model. Very silent and chic.
- Blood work next week. Other than coming back with a blood type of red meat I hope/pray that all will be well.
- What could go wrong? #seelastpost
- She asked me family history? I replied, “Well, my dad is a complicated story and my mom thinks I hate her…
- In all seriousness it was kind of funny as she rolled down the diseases and I kept saying, “No, no, no, none, nope, huh uh, sorry, no.”
- It was really really weird being the patient…I mean REALLY weird.
- I admit, it was kind of, “I don’t know where to put this” weird.
- Do you remember how Trey always hit me in the…well, as Joe recently put it, Thomas and Friends? Yeah, I don’t miss that.
- I do miss him though, every roller coaster story I hear makes me think of him.
- As much as I speak of being open, honest, and vulnerable (as evidenced by, well, this entire post) I do appreciate this line from a tv show I was just watching, “I say we act like men and we bury it under a mountain of denial so deep that no one can make us believe that it ever actually happened.”
- I follow some folks on social media that I have no idea what in heaven’s name they are even talking about…even the category. Whether it be in short form or extended posts they are just above the (or at least my) room.
- I made a basting sauce (from a Jeff Mauro recipe) the other day and found out that reducing orange pop in a sauce pot emits the same choking fumes that hot peppers do…go figure.
- In speaking of Jesus being arrested at one point Joe had the angry mob using flame throwers and me replying on Jesus’ behalf, “Oh yeah well I have the sun (standing there with the sun in his hand).” Joe replied, “Well, that escalated quickly.”
Happy Spring!
Thanks for brightening my day with another stellar post.
You don’t really know me, but I think you may have been to our house for a Young Life meeting in Oakmont years ago.
I went to a fund raiser for Trey, and I think it was held at Hebron Church.
I have read your posts and prayed for Trey on Tuesdays.
There are probably many of us that live complicated lives that read your posts and pray, but don’t make comments.
I’m praying for another boy who is battling cancer, and Crissy’s husband has Parkinson’s disease.
My husband’s parents lost a 2 year old between Rich’s brother and Rich. The little guy had an inoperable brain tumor decades ago, and he cried constantly. I know it changed his mom, and I believe she grieved until her death. She was a pastor’s wife, and I don’t think in her time, a pastor’s wife would be able to get counseling for social reasons.
I just remember her mostly as a grieving mother who told the same tragic story over and over again.
Her grave is now beside her little boy’s and her husband’s. They are all in Heaven rejoicing with Rich’s older brother who died at 70 from lack of proper care in the hospital.
Rich no longer has any immediate family, and he is more somber now.
We are in a new church with new friends, and we are working on building relationships.
The reason I am commenting today, is that your pain is very real and still raw. You did everything you could for your precious son, and I imagine Good Friday takes you into a deeper understanding of the grief of a Father watching his son die.
I was trained as a Stephen Minister, Facilitator, and Leader. I know grieving is very unique, and there are stages of grief that people experience, but the stages are not in the same order for everyone.
We lost a premie (also decades ago), but we were young and people told us that we could have more children, like babies can be disposable. Rich and I grieved together, but alone.
Because we believe she is in Heaven, we decided to let God give her the new name, as
it is written in Revelation.
I may have missed some posts about your other two, in fact I think I recall reading about them.
I’m interested in what they are involved in now. Children may have different ways of grieving, but as my sister in law puts it, there is a new normal.
Many people think FB is wrong, but I read it before I do my devotions. I look for people who have needs that I can pray for. I’m praying for you and your family today,
Love in Jesus,
Janet Bowman