I watch a good bit of t.v. Not too much but Rachel and I can stock up a DVR pretty quickly. It is sad that when watching a show and then deleting it (or just deleting some shows) provides for me a great sense of accomplishment. To watch the DVR memory go from 92% to 80% can sometimes be my greatest accomplishment of the day. That is a post for another day. As it is, Mike and Molly is a great show with one of the hottest actresses (Melissa McCarthy) in Hollywood and a guy (Billy Gardell) born and raised in Pittsburgh. They are married and are trying to get pregnant. Last night while talking about someday having their baby Molly said, “As long as they are healthy and happy is all that matters.”
Ok then. What if they are not? I have heard people say this (and to a degree I probably said something of the like years ago) in various forms time and time again. “Hey, our kids are healthy so we are blessed”, “I don’t care what happens to me as long as the kids are healthy”, “I can handle anything but if my kids aren’t healthy…”, “Man, we do have a lot of problems but at least the kids are ok”, things like this get said over and over again. So, as the father of a child who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer am I not blessed? Am I not ok? Am I not supposed to be able to “handle” this? What am I (are we) supposed to be doing?
“What then?” is the question I have for people who make such statements as listed above. Allow me to call in your bet/call your bluff/or cause you to think. Truth is, most people don’t ever “go there” and I don’t know if you should…necessarily. However, I believe at some level we are all either forced into moments like this throughout our life. Sometimes in life it is one major life event and other times it is a series of challenges that seem to be getting progressively worse. One group I particularly am concerned for are those who live in constant fear and anxiety over the above happening to them. They really don’t know what will happen to them if “it” were to happen to them.
I knew a guy once who had severe anxiety and panic issues. His treatment was basically a “what if” and “ok then” thought progression. He would ask himself what is the worst case scenario and then what he would feel and/or do then. It would lead to another fear door/window and he would do it again. It would continue on until he got to a very unlikely but possible situation. It gave powerful fears a visible face that could be addressed. Instead of an uncertain fear spiral it gave him concrete situations to face and manage. It lead to one absolute truth that I heard someone quote recently.
Sadly, I have no idea who said this quote (I’m good for quite a few of these). No, it wasn’t the Dalai Lama, Tony Robbins, or the drunk guy at the end of the bar. Regardless, it was brilliant. The quote is this, “You must come to peace with the worst case scenario and begin to live from there.” As one who is experiencing one of the above worst case scenarios I would absolutely agree. There is a peace that can be found there. Once you find that peace there is a level of life that can be (forgive my redundancy) lived that was not previously there. If I/we were unable/unwilling to face that worst case scenario we would have missed out on soooo much life and resided in a horrific fear.
Therefor, I encourage you to watch your absolutes (statements) and be willing to at least begin to face your fears. You will eventually find peace there and the opportunity to live just a bit (if not a whole lot) more.