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So, for the first time in 2+ years I have gotten sick. Nothing too bad but more fluid has come out of my nose and eyes in the last 3 days than I could have every possibly imagine. Thus, I had the idea to make a list of the worst sicks. These are NOT in any specific order but as they come to my mind. Some are very serious and some are most situational. The ones in bold I have experienced.

  1. The elementary school throw up in class in front of everyone.
  2. Shingles
  3. Diabetes
  4. Cancer
  5. Pumpkin Head
  6. Auto immune diseases (Hashimoto’s)
  7. Stomach flu/food poisoning on an international flight throwing up 5x between New York and Budapest
  8. Dengue fever
  9. Other fevers
  10. Migraine headaches
  11. Other headaches (I don’t get them so a little one feels like a lot)
  12. Throwing up in general
  13. Diarrhea
  14. Simultaneous throw up and diarrhea
  15. Spontaneous human combustion (more of a condition than an illness but still)
  16. Acne
  17. AIDS
  18. A fib
  19. Arthritis
  20. Osgood Slaughters
  21. Dementia/Alzheimer’s
  22. ALS
  23. Lyme’s disease
  24. Pulling 9 ticks off of you in one year so you don’t get Lyme’s
  25. Rabies
  26. Sunburn so bad that even though you put tons of aloe on you eventually just peel in bigger sheets like a fruit roll up
  27. Addiction
  28. Apnea
  29. Alopecia (for the record I spelled it right the first time)
  30. Agent orange
  31. Why are there so many “A” conditions/sicknesses
  32. Ringworm
  33. Fever
  34. Gluten exposure when you’re not Celiac but gluten averse
  35. Celiac’s
  36. Anxiety
  37. Low level hypochondria thinking that anything out of the ordinary might just be any of the above conditions
  38. Smelly toots (Rachel forbids any of us from saying that “F” word)
  39. Tapeworm
  40. Measles
  41. Polio
  42. Polo (being a douche and wearing Polo clothes AND cologne incessantly)
  43. Allergies
  44. Mumps
  45. Chickenpox
  46. Bi-polar condition
  47. Mental illness in general
  48. The flu
  49. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

That’s it, that’s the list. What did I leave off that you’ve had to endure?

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