I look for the good. It is more than not “hating”. It is looking for the good or for God in all things. I have a running joke when I’m coaching or watching sports and my team is getting completely blown out. I say, “Well, you can’t have an epic comeback without a huge deficit.” Granted, that is true but I am speaking in more general “rule of thumb” terms here.
I live in Penn Hills (as most of you know but I do have some regular readers in other parts of the country and few spread out around the world (I’m huge in the United Kingdom and The United Arab Emirates…well, not huge huge but they are 3 & 4 on my country list)) which is a suburb of Pittsburgh. By most people’s accounts Penn Hills isn’t “what it was” and has gone “downhill” over the years. School board meetings are filled with those who complain (as per their right) and talk about how the district and community aren’t what they were.
This is true of almost everything in life though. “Oh, when we only had two kids things were easier.”, “…when gas prices were cheaper.”, “…my old job…”, “..when we were first married.”, “our old Pastor.” are all quotes that are examples of how people view things from a negative angle.
The thing is, at any given time, you can always find the negative. Back to Penn Hills. 10 years ago people complained about the building and facilities and teacher contracts. 15 years ago it was about fights in the school and teacher/student safety. 20 years ago (back in “my day”) it was all about drinking being at all time highs (no pun intended) and parent involvement being at all time lows. If you go back from there you start running into the race riots in the late 60’s and early 70’s. So when we talk about how things “used to be” are we referring to the good old 50’s when whites and blacks were segregated and the jocks regularly beat up the nerds? Yeah, that would be nice to have that again.
I’m not saying that things are better now and, believe me, they are certainly not perfect. However, I simply choose not to dwell on what isn’t and focus on what is and what can be and what my role is in getting there.
This is true of all aspects of life not just school board or town hall meetings. Moreover, I’m not saying to be blindly optimistic. You’ve never heard me say, “Trey WILL be healed, Trey WILL be just fine.” No. I have always maintained that he CAN be healed. However, we look (and have looked) to the good. Where is the good in it? What can God do with this? All right, I’m the “poor guy” in the situation who gets to be the dad of a kid with terminal cancer, what’s my role? I don’t just want to make due with a bad situation. I want to thrive, I want to advance, I want to prosper.
Yeah, things can be dark, bleak, or even seemingly hopeless. However, where’s the good? I’ll tell you, in looking for it I’ve found it every time. The hater will say I’m rationalizing. I say to the hater, “how does that help?” How does it help me and, for that matter, you? Thousands of people have looked for and been part of the good in our world since Trey was diagnosed (THANK YOU). It confirms my outlook on things even more.
I am not saying that I am perfect nor am I free of cynicism. I’m very gifted at being negative if not cynical and throw in facetious/sarcastic and snarky while you are at it. I can even hate on “haters” or negative things/people but I don’t want to be. I want my focus…MY focus to be on the good.