Heard that before? Said that before? Sadly, being disrespected in our world today is nothing new. It seems that more and more I hear people saying, “Don’t disrespect me!” Why that is could be many reasons. Perhaps we’re living in a more rude society. Maybe with social media we just have more opportunities to be disrespected. One might argue that we have become soft and more sensitive. I even once wrote a post about how easily people get offended.
There’s a good reason why people feel disrespected. They probably have a high need FOR respect. Further, that need is probably going unmet. Now, throw in all of the reasons above why disrespect is so prevalent today and boom…disrespect. When we have a high emotional need, and we all do, and it doesn’t get met we are hurt. Taken a step further, if one does have a need for respect, how does it get met?
If you have a high need for attention, people can notice and spend time with you. If you need comfort, someone can cry with you. If you have a need for affection, a hug might do. But respect? It’s a little bit more complicated. That is why I encouraged my church…and now you, to actively go and respect other people. Do this to love others. How though?
I think it will work if you understand what respect is in the first place. To me, to respect someone is to communicate to them what it is that you value about them that sets them apart from others. Whether it be their skills, behavior, characteristics, or accomplishments, what every it is about them that you think is remarkable is what you respect. Now, go and tell them.
For example, I really want you all to know how much I respect how much Bernice Ott cares for our church and everyone in it. I really respect Jan Mitlo and her commitment to her family. I respect Dr. Nancy Hines and her fight for Penn Hills as Superintendent in these super challenging times. I respect Warren Stout for his commitment to Jiu Jitsu and training of so many. I respect Mr. Thompson who, more than any other, taught me right from wrong (as my elementary teacher…twice) and cared for me for years. I respect Debbie DePew and Tiffany Casarcia for their commitment to kids with cancer. I respect Bob McGinnis and Chris Buda for their lifetime of serving kids in YoungLife. I respect Dean Shorthouse and his years of running a great business in Penn Hills. I respect Pastor Rick Cox for his commitment to Penn Hills even though he isn’t from Penn Hills. I respect Chuck and Zeta Turner for the commitment to family business, Penn Hills, and getting people hooked on Turners Tea. I respect Doug Rehberg for caring for and mentoring me for years in ministry. There are many others I’d like to publicly respect but I know that they wouldn’t want the attention.
The bonus that comes with loving someone by respecting them is that it touches on other emotional needs. By respecting them (and letting them know that) they are also getting attention and appreciation. However, if like some of the above folks, they don’t have a high need for attention, it might not be all that they wanted. Regardless, the respect is still there.
Yeah, I left many people off of my list of those that I respect…I certainly did not mean to DISrespect them in the process.