My dad sat there and uttered things that just didn’t make sense. It wasn’t necessarily hallucinations like he has done in the past when he has had infections (those are crazy and almost enjoyable if they weren’t so sad). He was just confused and disoriented. You catch yourself correcting him until you realize that it doesn’t matter and that he’s better off just being placated. I talked to the nurses about what was coming up in his care but it kind of doesn’t really matter all that much. They aren’t making the decisions and his status changes every few hours or so anyhow. I watched him sleep which was not a good thing. He was agitated and twitchey but not bothered…just busy. He was talking a bit and waking up often. Sigh.
I had already been the to the junior high to pick Joe up from school. He had come home early three days ago, stayed home the next day and tried to go back yesterday. He didn’t make it. What’s wrong you ask? Very good question. He said his body aches and he is very often very cold. Oh, he may sneeze every couple of hours and occasionally his head hurts a bit. He doesn’t really have a fever though it approaches 100 from time to time. He is very tired and sleeps a lot. He has a bad case of…? Hmmm, what would that be?
Bella and Rachel have both had bad colds in the past few weeks (as have most people…I get it). Although they are “better” they are not ALL better. Nagging coughs and explosive nose blows abound. It seems that everywhere I turn…something is not quite right. It gets to you (me) after awhile. I’d like for things to be better…in many ways.
However, this is just my story. You definitely have yours. Surgery, sad friends, family strife, money, pain, job, school, church, relationships, whatever it is you are facing something…somethings. We all do. My encouragement?
Breathe. Literally AND figuratively. The more things go wrong, the tighter we get. Literally and figuratively. Give yourself a moment. Take a break. Stop looking within and look about. Stop the overfocus on now and remember forever. Rather than feal weak, realize your strength. Relax your mind, body, and soul.
Yes, everyone of these is an annoying meme and inspriational framed picture in a guidance counselors office. They are also true. But do it. Take a minute. Breathe. You’ve been through worse, you’ll be through worse yet, and yet you surivive. There are others around you struggling, just waiting for someone to come along side them. Be that someone! They need you and you need to be needed.
Trust me, breathe. It’s ok, it has been ok, and it will be ok again.